november 2009 contains 2 out of 4 of the best days of my life.

dear 3 people that read this blog,

i'm in wuv. :]

fresh?

my blog is totally not cool like everyone else's.
a freshman who is 13 has a crush on me. it's cute and disgusting at the same time.
he's going to take me out for a nice steak dinner on his huffy bicycle with money that he has accumulated from 4 years' worth of allowance. he's been saving it for sweet rims for his huffy.

my art teacher made me cry yesterday.
i want everyone to shut the hell up about college.

i strongly dislike it when guys send mixed signals and play games with me. like on my list of things that i'd like to stab in the face, that's probably around #3. one day i'm going to go hardcore and date chicks.

the truth about me

i am completely and utterly nuerotic.
if you know me well enough, you know who's to blame.

oh hi, i'm miserable. what's your name?

it's times like these...

i wish i had a boyfriend or at least a very nice friend to make me campbell's tomato soup and watch crappy movies with me. i'm sick as fuck, and i'm not allowed to stay home. not that i'd even want to. every time i stay home, i miss school. is that weird?

so virgin fest was indescribable. i was pretty much at the very front for almost the entire thing. security guards at merriwether are SO NICE. what the hell. i almost fainted during the bravery because of a combination of dehydration, hunger, and being suffocated by every person pushing behind me (which was basically everyone in the pit area)...and a security guard gave me water. i love that man. where are all the people like THAT in the world when i'm sick and need tomato soup. anyway weezer was so amazing. i did not expect them to be so good. blink 182 was good too. but i have to say, weezer was the best. :] i'd been waiting to see both of them pretty much since i was 10.

school. i really dig school this year, even though i'm in 2 APs (english 11 & psychology). i do not, however, enjoy going to school while sick. which is why i might stay home tomorrow. haven't decided yet. depends how crappy i feel.

this might be the longest post i've ever written. huh.

current thoughts.

1. this guy is stupid. i mean who the hell decides after knowing someone for a week and seeing them in person once, that they just want to be friends? pfffffft whatever. he's skinny and he's got a caved in chest.
2. I'M GOING TO VIRGIN FEST TOMORROW. :] perfect way to finish off the summer. this summer kinda blew very hard cause of stupid guys. hopefully tomorrow will make up for it.
3. school is staring the day after tomorrow. i'm strangely a little bit excited. maybe being constantly stressed out about school will at least distract me from stupid guy.
4. i like shoes.
that's all.

<3333

You never missed a word I tried to fit
Inside a chorus, inside a verse, all my intros and the bridge
That's where I put all the awful things I think I am
And if you still respect me I guess I'll have a second chance

I want my hands in your hair
I want my hands in your hair
Pulling your face closer

I told you last night you gave me butterflies
You surprise me with new cocoons everytime they start to fly
I instantly felt like an idiot
Embarrassed of the person controlling my mouth
My mouth it's always in a melee
Figuring out how as it talks
Your response was comforting
I guess I gave you butterflies too

I want my hands in your hair
I want my hands in your hair
Pulling your face closer
and closer
and closer
and closer
and closer
and closer
and closer

You never missed a word I tried to fit
Inside a chorus, inside a verse, all my intros and the bridge
That's where I put all the awful things I think I am
And if you still respect me I guess I'll have a second chance

You never missed a word I tried to fit
Inside a chorus, inside a verse, all my intros and the bridge
That's where I put all the awful things I think I am
And if you still respect me I guess I'll have a second chance

<3

i met this guy at jubert's show and we have the same initials.
i dig him.

someone please remind me why i dated zach martens

my universe at the moment is void of any intelligent life. i wish someone, anyone, had something to talk about besides their manicure or the last episode of american idol. please, everyone, if you don't have anything intelligent to say, shut the fuck up and go back to watching the disney channel.

whaaatever

this summer can go get fucked by sandpaper bear.

i hate coming to my senses.

my birthday

is in like 19 days.



buy me stuff.

<33

i miss somebody and his name is...
not going to be revealed in this post.

ps: jubert, shut up.

ruby soho has been stuck in my head for about 3 days.

last night

i lost my phone while rolling down a hill with 4 drunk guys.
any questions?


warped tour is in about 2 days. i need to cut my bangs. i found white hannah montana sunglasses at safeway that i can pull off. my hair is black.

dear interwebz,

fuck.




after a lot of thought, i'm going to do something i don't really want to do, but i know that i have to do.
i'm going to keep telling myself that it's better in the long run.

this week has been so, so confusing.
this whole summer has been confusing.
i've never been so unsure of myself.

gary coleman riding a panda

fuckin riiiiiight.

scott, what the hell did i tell you about blogging at my house? and on my account?
go decapitate yourself

there is this really cool kid and his name is scott carlson

scott is a jerk and we're not dating.
or fucking.

well. im getting fat. joe and scott kidnapped me yesterday, and i left a cake at joe's house. there were some annoying chicks. we kidnapped mark and got taco bell. i was avril lavigne for a while. then we burned stuff at my house and im going to have to explain to mr. gannon that i accidentally burned that summer packet.

there's this guy and i just think he's really nice and funny and smart and janks. and i wish he knew that if he doesn't like me, he could totally just say so and i wouldn't be upset. and i really just think he's really easy to talk to and i'd be perfectly happy if we never ever dated and just stayed friends.

motherfucker

there's a leftover crack show tonight and i will not be there

there's a kid that's about 6 or 7 miles away and i am not hanging out with him. and he's not even online. and i'm still confused about our conversation last night.
that MIGHT be a hint. i don't know. you decide.

3 more finals.
blow my life.

i got arrested on friday and ive been telling people the story all week so if anyone else asks im going to gouge out their eyes and feed them to them.
i'm grounded. today was the last day of school besides finals. im trying like hell to go to the show at the corpse fortress on saturday.
commie pinkos ftw.

it's been a long ass time

blogs are for quars.
i miss xanga.
MARK JUBERT REMINDS ME OF THIS CARTOON CHARACTER SO FUCKING MUCH


i've never even had cable. how did i watch that show?
why is there a button on my keyboard for THIS: €€€€€€€€€€ the fuck does that even mean?

today

i went to chris's and made a really rushed cover of Hero of War by rise against.
http://s24.photobucket.com/albums/c50/redeyedpunkx/?action=view¤t=hero.flv
it's horrible. i warned you.

so uh. not too much going on. chris and i are doing some covers at the music cafe pretty soon. we practiced Hero of War this morning and it's coming together quite nicely. One day I'll rule the world.

with love.

I have a new plan. I just finished reading "Girl, Interrupted," which, I've learned, is a true story, an autobiography...and for the record, the movie is good, but not comparable to the book. The movie is for entertainment purposes. It makes a point about mental health, but the book, on the other hand, makes a point about how people that are regarded as mentally ill are often just different. If that's not what Susan Kaysen was going for, oh well...it's what I got out of it.
Something that the main character experienced in several instances was being discouraged from becoming a writer. She didn't want to go to college or have a boring job. She wanted to do what made her happy, and because of this, she was told that she was crazy. In my opinion, anyone that doesn't pursue happiness is insane. I guess in that sense, I've been a lunatic for the past 16 years.
I've spent so much time trying to fit in with someone else's idea of happiness. I've been this way since I can remember. I've been singing since I was four. I may not have taken it seriously at all back then, but I knew that I was good at it, I knew I loved to do it. I've always wanted to be a "singer." Now that I'm older, the term "singer" makes me think of popstars that I admired when I was younger. "Musician" doesn't even fit it. I believe the appropriate term is "artist," but probably not by most people's definitions. I've always liked drawing. I've always thought I was decent at it. I know people are better at it than me, but I don't really mind. It's always been a personal thing for me. I draw for my own sanity. I've never thought practice was neccessary in order to do something that's so personal and rudimentary. Then there's writing. I love writing. Maybe because I know that I'm good at it. I rarely enjoy writing assignments in class. The only exceptions are writing about things that interest me. I taught myself to read when I was younger. Around 3 or 4. I don't know exactly what
age I was, and honestly I don't care. All that matters is that it
opened me up to learning about anything that I want to know, and presented to me the option of ignoring things that I feel are useless. All this goes back to school. I've never done well in school. I've been told my whole life, "You're so intelligent, you could do so well if only you cared about your schoolwork." And I guess they're all right. I like to think that I'm an intelligent person. I'm creative. I'm talented. I'm ambitious and driven. but one thing I'm not is simple. I've been told by people that think they've got my archetype all figured out: I'm the intelligent but ignorant type, I think I'm a rebel, I think I'm too good to follow the rules, I think I can get by without doing any work. Well, really, they're only a little bit right in this assumption. I am intelligent. I'm NOT lazy. I'm not ignorant...I'm fully aware that I could be setting myself up for failure. I don't think I'm a rebel, I'm just optimistic and maybe a bit too aware of my own strengths. And true, I rarely do work in school, but honestly, I don't feel that I have to. Anything that I like doing, I'm good at...and anything that I'm good at can't be improved through a school system that simply takes any small sign of individuality and shatters it by constantly telling students that they're not good enough unless they fit someone else's idea of success.
Well I'm very sorry, but I'm not your cute little archetype. I've got my own agenda, though until I'm legal, I can't pursue much of anything, so I guess I'll just have to keep the authority figures happy for the time being. Regardless, I will pursue my idea of happiness. I wasn't put here to go along with everyone else's ideas, I was put here to question them, and to anyone that doubts me, you don't fucking scare me, and I really do feel sorry for you. You'll never know what it's like to be passionate about something. You'll never understand what it's like to love something so deeply that your only aspiration is to become it. I am fucking good enough, and I am too good for your rules.

it's been brought to my attention that a certain someone has written the most fucked up hypocritical rant in history about a very good friend of mine. watch closely as i point out the fallacy in it, one part at a time.

My reputation's mostly been ruined by ex-girlfriends and judgemental assholes that have nothing better to do than gossip about people they barely know.

for the record, i've really never heard her gossip about anyone. i don't even think i've heard her say a negative thing about someone unless she was agreeing with something -I- said. and as for your reputation? there's no one to blame but yourself. maybe try taking responsibility for your actions once in a while instead of blaming "ex-girlfriends" who all just HAPPEN to have exactly the same opinion of you. what a strange, strange coincidence.

I'm referring to someone in particular, and if I talk to you a lot, you may know who I mean. If it's you and you've realized it, I fucking hate you, you disgusting vain pig. I hope you die from malnutrition from your fucking vegetarian bullshit and cannibals eat the meat off your carcass.

ooh. anti-vegetarian insults. classy, and always original. ;]

You're a self-centered bitch who just gossips about other people because you've got no real friends to actually talk to.

Actually, she does have friends. I happen to be one of them. & as for "self-centered"? not even a phrase you should ever use in the same sentence when mentioning her, especially if you're someone who openly accepts that they're conceited themself.

You run around backstabbing people left and right, and you've honestly got to go, because you've befriended one of my closest friends and I know you'll just backstab her too eventually.

you're really one to talk about backstabbing. remind me, who was it that i foolishly trusted with a few of my personal thoughts, just to have them turn around literally the next day and tell everyone they talked to? and for the record, i'm not one of your closest friends. i don't even know where you got THAT idea. you seem to have this impression that i trust you at all. well just to clear things up: you doing me a favor doesn't even slightly restore my trust in you, and neither does making a weak attempt at hurting someone that i care about. you're trash, as far as i'm concerned. don't even fucking try to say i'm your friend.

You bitch about your life, how it's so horrible, when your parents make great money. You cry about getting fucking 89%'s on tests.

First of all, you know fucking nothing about her life. most obvious giveaway: "parents" should not be plural. try getting to know someone before you make insensitive judgements about them.

You blog about how much drama you have with guys when I'm certain there isn't a guy in the world that would even give you a second glance.

all i can refute this with is that she is gorgeous in both her appearance and her personality. she probably doesn't even realize it herself, but she happens to get a LOT of attention from the opposite gender...unlike someone that i know.

You change your haircolor every god damn month, and it just gets uglier every time.

haha. once again with the lame superficial insults. you obviously put a lot of work into this one! ;D

You always manage to be there when I hang with my friends, and someday, I'll rip you out in front of everyone, and it'll be the greatest moment of my life up to that point. You are the one person I can say I really truly hate, and even knowing that you're still alive and breathing disgusts me. Go fuck yourself, since no guy will ever fuck you.

hahaha how did you come up with the phrase "rip you out"? just reading this, i'm imagining your pathetic little WoW playing ass still daydreaming about the moment you "ripped her out" in your mom's basement in 20 years. also, "no guy will ever fuck" her? i'm not about to state the obvious argument here...instead, i'd just like to point out how fucking shallow this statement is. you value people not based on real factors, but rather, on how many people they've fucked.

I just realized the hair color thing might've given it away. Oh well, I don't think I'd give a damn if she read it, since she wouldn't actually do anything. I probably understated how much I hate her though. Bleh. I am raging horribly right now. But at least I finally got that out of my system.

oh yeah. you really don't care about whether or not she reads this. that's why you said this to me shortly after she did.
BrandonSkanks: what do you do when you write a blog saying how much you hate someone, forget to make it invisible
BrandonSkanks: and they read it?

oh, and just an extra little note, if i hear that you've been talking about someone i care about, i will not hesitate to bring your social life as you know it to a screeching halt (but really, that's not saying a lot). just so you know, NO ONE REALLY EVEN FUCKING LIKES YOU. the only reason anyone tolerates you is because we've all accepted that you won't fucking go away!

snow day. bored.

second snow day in a row. i am so bored.
this song has been stuck in my head since monday.

wooo.

i'm probably going to end up writing in this the same way that i used to write in my xanga. it's the end of the weekend...here's what i did.

friday: made up exams, did nothing at home. lame.
saturday: hung out with amanda & went to the mall. i got like 5 pairs of reeeeally cute panties from wet seal and something magical happened. i don't feel fat anymore! i spent like 20 minutes listening to amanda complain about how fat she is (and for the record, she's a skinny son of a bitch), and realized that this whole issue is really ridiculous. even if i lose weight, i'm still not going to be happy with something about myself. it's pointless to try to fix your imperfections, cause there's always going to be more. it's more effective to try to fix your insecurities. anyway more about the events of friday...amanda decided we were going exploring without much prior notice, so richards picked us up from the mall & we picked up rosslynne & george (who i had not seen or spoken to since i was 12. pretty weird when i realized i knew him). we were going to this abandoned hospital in sykesville, but we ended up walking up this long long long road and turning around cause it was cold. it was still pretty fun thoughh. a few memorable quotes...
"tupac already caught a bear. if you catch a bear now everyone will just think you're trying to be like tupac."
"this conversation started out about pussy and somehow turned into cabbage."
anyway it was fuckin shweet since i hadn't hung out with rosslynne since like 7th grade & i got to meet george for a second time. he's fucking hilarious.
sunday: everyone wanted to hang out but no one was actually free. i slept. it was...uneventful.
monday: went to the mall with katy & amber. we stopped by the bank first to use the coinstar & got lollipops too haha. the chick at hot topic was really obviously flirting with me. i enjoyed the attention. everyone seemed to be in a really good mood. we went to spencers and i loudly announced that we were going to look at the vibrators and the guy working there was all "you cant do that unless you're 18. too many kids tried to steal them." so i was all "haha how lame is it when you have to steal a vibrator." so he said something like "well, you guys are being nice, i'll let you go ahead." so basically showed us all the vibrators. memorable quotes:
"i don't see any vibrators." (spencers guy points out about 2347459 vibrators right in front of me) "i don't either. i don't see any." we also slingshotted thongs at each other in charlotte russe haha. so. somewhere along the way i saw the guy that i'm pretty sure is stalking me cause he works fucking EVERYWHERE I GO. then we saw kelvin, who doesn't work anywhere but just happens to show up everywhere i go. he was significantly less awkward than the last time we saw him. i was about to show him the really cute purple jeans i'd just got at wet seal, and some pink lace panties that amber got fell out of the bag and onto the floor in the process haha. i don't get why she was so embarassed. it was just hilarious. by the way, starbucks has AMAZING cupcakes. katy and i shared one and it was pretty much orgasmic. no other word can do it justice. so basically it was the most fun i've had at the mall in forever.
that was my weekend.

i'm pro-choice. yep.

before reading this: just realize that this is a debate between a good friend of mine and myself, and i'm not telling anyone that their beliefs are wrong, i'm simply challenging them. if having your views questioned is something you can't deal with, maybe you should rethink them.



booBooK1ttyfxck: why is your mom pissed?
sasafrasket: cause the whole freedom of chocie act
sasafrasket: both her and my dada are really worred about that
booBooK1ttyfxck: ..whyy..? its been the same for the past 40 years
sasafrasket: no
sasafrasket: there making it illeag for states to make up laws against abortion
sasafrasket: there changeing it real soon
booBooK1ttyfxck: oh.
sasafrasket: yeah
booBooK1ttyfxck: wellll it is kind of a national issue...not a state thing..
sasafrasket: i don't now all the deatils about but
sasafrasket: i think one o the things is you don't have to be a doctor or physition
sasafrasket: to give an abortion
booBooK1ttyfxck: oh wow thats retarded
sasafrasket: i know
sasafrasket: and alot of pharmisist have lost there jobs cause they refuse to sell the morning after pill
sasafrasket: so it's those kinds of things there really worried about
booBooK1ttyfxck: ehh the first one you mentioned i think is messed up
booBooK1ttyfxck: but i dont get whats so wrong with firing people at pharmacies that arent doing their job. that would be like if i worked at safeway and refused to sell people meat
sasafrasket: well if it's there i religon agiansted to use the morning after pill then
sasafrasket: then these people are getting feird becuase of there religon
sasafrasket: and there belfies
booBooK1ttyfxck: ...uhm. kind of. but why would someone get a job at a place that sells products that they think are wrong in the first place?
sasafrasket: i guess thats ture
sasafrasket: i still thing it's best if it remians a state deiced thing
booBooK1ttyfxck: but then like...lets say alabama makes abortions totally illegal
booBooK1ttyfxck: and a girl gets pregnant for whatever reason and has to get an abortion
booBooK1ttyfxck: but she has no way to get out of the state
sasafrasket: but if you make it leagel on a national level with no restrietions
booBooK1ttyfxck: eh well see im not totally pro-choice. i think partial birth abortions are cruel and fucked up. so i dont think there shouldnt be restrictions
booBooK1ttyfxck: i just think it's a national issue so it should be a national law
sasafrasket: it's to easy for people just sleep around and get prengranted all the time cause they can just get an abrotion
sasafrasket: if it stays a state issues
sasafrasket: it's alot easyer for states to deciced if in a case an abrotion is nessecery or not
booBooK1ttyfxck: truue.
sasafrasket: you know wait i mean
booBooK1ttyfxck: but look at it this way
booBooK1ttyfxck: laws are based on the constitution
booBooK1ttyfxck: and the 9th amendment states that people have the right to privacy and can do what they want to their bodies
booBooK1ttyfxck: roe v. wade...court case that reinforces the 9th amendment
booBooK1ttyfxck: and some states want to just say "hey fuck the constitution."
booBooK1ttyfxck: that's not due process.
booBooK1ttyfxck: that's just a bunch of people disagreeing with a law and deciding to enforce something unconstitutional on people
booBooK1ttyfxck: i get that people think abortion is wrong and they want people to not get them and to have sex more responsibly...but i dont think making laws is the way to do that
booBooK1ttyfxck: you can only change the world by changing people's minds. rant completed.
sasafrasket: yeah thats ture
sasafrasket: anyways i have to go soon
sasafrasket: i cant argue anymore
booBooK1ttyfxck: haha awwhh. i was enjoying this.
sasafrasket: wat time were you going to hang out with ambar tomarrow?
sasafrasket: ahahaha
sasafrasket: i can't argue with you over line
sasafrasket: my spellings no good
sasafrasket: i sound stupid

also, i would like to say that in a perfect world, abortion wouldn't be necessary, but we don't live in a perfect world. not even close. no one LIKES the idea of killing unborn children, i sure as hell don't, but i do believe that it should be a right to decide whether or not to get an abortion. though i think keeping a child is the more responsible thing to do, not everyone agrees with me. there are two sides to every issue, and just because everyone is pushed to one side doesn't mean they're all together in their views. i DO think abortion is wrong. i think christianity is fucked up too, but you don't see me picketing outside a church. if you don't like christianity, don't go to church. if you don't like homosexuality, don't marry someone of the same gender. and if you think abortions are wrong, don't get one.

and most importantly, don't enforce a law that's clearly unconstitutional onto people that clearly don't agree with it.

i just had a very long conversation with a good friend and i think...i've realized something.
the kind of guy i'm looking for...
-someone that i can be myself around.
-someone that will take care of me.
-someone that i can talk to for hours and not get bored with.
-someone that isn't afraid to get a little emotional...but isn't such a pussy that i have to be the strong one in the relationship (cause let's face it, that's just not me).

this may or may not be a description of my current interest. i'm honestly not even sure yet.

how i define my life.

samgrysavage: well and this might sound stupid to you
booBooK1ttyfxck: im not judgemental haha. tell me.
samgrysavage: hahaha
samgrysavage: ok
samgrysavage: well i always say that everyone has a price
samgrysavage: do you know what i mean?
samgrysavage: ?
booBooK1ttyfxck: ...not really...explain
samgrysavage: well for example
samgrysavage: a price that you would sell someone out for
samgrysavage: like people have asked me if i would kill my who;e family for a trillion $
samgrysavage: and youre one of the people that i would never have a price for
booBooK1ttyfxck: awhh :]
booBooK1ttyfxck: why is that? haha
samgrysavage: because i like you alot
booBooK1ttyfxck: why me?
samgrysavage: ?
booBooK1ttyfxck: why not someone else?
samgrysavage: i said one of the people
booBooK1ttyfxck: haha
samgrysavage: ha
booBooK1ttyfxck: i knowww
booBooK1ttyfxck: im just wondering whyy.
samgrysavage: do you mean why do i like you
booBooK1ttyfxck: what makes me so worthy of that? haha
samgrysavage: ?
samgrysavage: haha
samgrysavage: idk i mean i can obviously see that you have flaws and everything just like everyone else but i just like being around you
booBooK1ttyfxck: haha :]
booBooK1ttyfxck: that's sweet...i think.
samgrysavage: :]
samgrysavage: ? you think
booBooK1ttyfxck: i do.
samgrysavage: oh
booBooK1ttyfxck: i don't know if i'd kill anyone for a trillion dollars haha
booBooK1ttyfxck: but then again, i've never cared for money too much.
samgrysavage: haha
samgrysavage: really?
samgrysavage: now that i think about it i dont either
booBooK1ttyfxck: i think the only things i want in life are...
booBooK1ttyfxck: i want to be a successful musician
samgrysavage: amen
booBooK1ttyfxck: and live up to my own standards
booBooK1ttyfxck: and have a good influence on people.
samgrysavage: uh oh
samgrysavage: haha jk
booBooK1ttyfxck: haha
booBooK1ttyfxck: nuu i mean i want to encourage people to think for themselves
booBooK1ttyfxck: and all that cutesy shyt
booBooK1ttyfxck: but i wouldn't kill anyone to do that, even.
booBooK1ttyfxck: that would be fucked up :/
samgrysavage: hmm
booBooK1ttyfxck: that would just contradict itself
samgrysavage: fucked up indeed
booBooK1ttyfxck: cause i feel like my goal in life is to help people...
samgrysavage: have you started helping people yet
samgrysavage: ?
booBooK1ttyfxck: haha if i explain this you're going to think it's really dumb but whateverrr
samgrysavage: no
samgrysavage: you always say that but you know i wont
booBooK1ttyfxck: i've been trying to help animals by going veg and all that. and just doing really tiny things in my own life like that...but i always feel like i'm not doing enough.
booBooK1ttyfxck: like i said...my name means "protector of mankind" and i feel like i have to live up to that name.
samgrysavage: well have you started helping people yet
booBooK1ttyfxck: i try.
samgrysavage: haha
samgrysavage: how?
booBooK1ttyfxck: but i think the only way i can help people is by making them think about how they treat themselves or others or the world in general.
booBooK1ttyfxck: and i just don't have that much influence.
samgrysavage: ha
booBooK1ttyfxck: ha?
samgrysavage: yeah you do
booBooK1ttyfxck: well like...
booBooK1ttyfxck: this is going to sound dorky but..
booBooK1ttyfxck: like i'm really inspired by my favorite musicians, cause they've influenced me so much, and they must have changed so many minds
booBooK1ttyfxck: and i want to do that too. i feel like i HAVE to do that.
samgrysavage: hmm
booBooK1ttyfxck: it's like my responsibility
booBooK1ttyfxck: and like i wasn't just given my talents for no reason at all.
booBooK1ttyfxck: i might as well use them
samgrysavage: well a name is just a name , but you should do what you think you were meant to do
booBooK1ttyfxck: it's kind of sad though...
samgrysavage: why?
booBooK1ttyfxck: cause really i'm just another teenager that wishes they were a rockstar
samgrysavage: haha
samgrysavage: thats not sad
booBooK1ttyfxck: and it's like part of me knows i'm going to be successful
booBooK1ttyfxck: but another part is just like "you're not good enough."

:D

i didnt like this blog so i deleted it.